I need a bookie

Kurt Warner retired today. He had a great story, excellent career, blah blah blah. I might be willing to bet cash money that Brett Favre will announce his retirement again within the next couple days, solely because he can't stand the idea of another retiring quarterback hogging the media spotlight and being praised for a great career. I hate Brett Favre.

Which of these does not belong?

This one.

Go Away

Scram

Git

Beat it

Fuera

Get out of my sight

Leave Scar, and never come back

Bounce

Get thee to a nunnery

GET OUT

Leave me alone

It's over.

Standards

So unranked PC beat number 19 UConn in basketball tonight. PC beating ranked teams is not extremely rare, last year we beat Syracuse when they were ranked 15th and Pittsburgh when they were the number one team in the country, but it is a noteworthy event, especially since any win here is an exciting event. I had a feeling that we might win tonight, which I think may have been based on last year's victories over ranked Big East opponents. I didn't go to the game, but was pleased to see the final score of 81-66. "Oh cool, we did end up beating UConn. I'm going to go on with my night now." Unbeknownst to me, defeating the 19th ranked team in the country is equivalent to winning the national championship, because the yelling outside and jubilant Facebook statuses are making me feel like I missed the game of the century. Look, I'm all for school spirit and getting excited about big wins. I was at both the Syracuse and the Pittsburgh games last year. I stormed the court and got wild and went out to Clubbies to get drunk and celebrate. But this isn't beating #1 ranked Pitt, or even #15 ranked Syracuse with the girlfriend-beater Eric Devendorf. This is UConn. They are ranked 19th right now. That's almost 20, which isn't really all that impressive. Yeah, they beat Texas when Texas was number 1 last week, and yeah they're historically a good team, and yeah they're a Big East Rival, but storming the court? Really PC? That's all it takes these days, a blowout win against a team barely in the top 20? I'm embarrassed. What's next, burning down the Dunkin Donuts Center for making the NIT? Come on now. That's just unprofessional. No wonder we're not taken seriously. Step it up please.

The Duke and the Dauphin

I think a large reason for my slight disdain for the way my college and presumably most colleges work is that it makes me feel limited in what I am allowed to learn. At my school at least, there are several required courses that have to be taken if you want to graduate, as well as the ultimately ineffective Development of Western Civilization program that seems to be the pride and joy of the school. All these requirements can severely and unnecessarily limit the amount of classes that a student can elect to take. One of the factors that influenced my decision to major in English was that the school only requires me to take 10 English classes before I graduate, whereas other areas of study dominate your schedule with prerequisites and sequential courses. Ideally I would be able to just take whichever classes I wanted to, similar to the movie Accepted, but realistically I am limited in what I can study and am forced to specialize. I don't want to specialize. I want to know everything.

Explanation of title: This post was written primarily so that I could use this title. Sorry if I wasted your time. The duke and the dauphin are two con artists in Mark Twain's Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. One of my favorite quotes from Mr. Twain is "I have never let my schooling get in the way of my education," an accomplishment I am envious of and hope I can imitate. Unfortunately, I think I am nearing the point where my schooling will get in the way of my education, which makes me wonder what I'm spending all this time and money on here.

Chilly Phones

I went cold-calling yesterday for work. Cold-calling is one of the techniques I will be using to find customers this summer who want me to paint their house. I guess it's how I will get most of my jobs this summer, probably because it is easy to do and I can identify houses that have obvious problems with their paint. In a nutshell, cold-calling is like trick-or-treating, except instead of asking for candy you are asking to (in my case) paint the person's house, and there is a less likely chance for success with most houses. This trick-or-treating analogy is easier for me to make because the first neighborhood that my district manager and I worked in is essentially in my backyard, thus making it our prime trick-or-treating territory. Yes, it was a little weird to walk through this neighborhood trying to make money rather than scheme candy, but it was a good place to start. One of the fun things about doing cold-calling as a painter is that many of the target neighborhoods have obscenely large houses, since these are the most profitable houses to make. After practicing in my Halloween neighborhood, we aimed solely for the small cul-de-sacs where money grows on trees. Unfortunately for my painting endeavors, these beautiful houses were also immaculately painted, but we took solace in the fact that we got to see dream houses that actually existed.

I got a little off-topic and you probably still don't know what cold-calling is. When cold-calling as a painter, one locates a target neighborhood and just starts knocking on doors. Rather than asking for candy when the homeowner opens the door (or stares at you through the locked door), one introduces oneself, explaining the nature of the company. Dropping the word one now. If you're lucky, the person owning the house is indeed looking to have the house painted again and is not a self-proclaimed painter. Usually you aren't lucky. Because of the nature of cold-calling, you are able to hit many houses in a short amount of time, thus increasing your chances of getting a lead and a potential job. That is all I have to say about cold-calling.

Explanation of title: I feel obligated to title this post and now I need to explain my dumb title. Cold-calling is not necessarily done over the phone, and then I guess I played with words a bit and came up with "Chilly Phones." Great.

College

There's a kid passed out in my doorway. He's not getting up tonight, we brought him a pillow and moved his legs so we can close the door. Another kid has taken our extra mattress so his friend who is visiting can sleep on it while my friend has an slumber party with his girlfriend (Illegal because my school doesn't allow members of the opposite sex to stay past midnight/2 AM).

A Change of Opinion

Scott Brown beat Martha Coakley today to represent Massachusetts in the Senate. Normally I don't care at all about politics, but for some reason this election actually interested me, and I found myself invested, if only a little bit, in the outcome. Brown is a member of the Republican Party, while Coakley represents the Democrats. Until recently, the Senate Seat that was held by the late (Democrat) Ted Kennedy for more years than I can count was assumed to be Coakley's for the taking, especially since Massachusetts is a notoriously blue (Democrat) state.

The election garnered national attention because until Brown's victory, the Democrats held 60 of the 100 Senate seats. This, coupled with Democrat Barack Obama as President, meant that essentially any bill or law or whatever they're called that the Democrat party wanted passed was almost guaranteed to pass. By winning a 41st seat in the Senate, the Republican party can now put up a fight if they don't want something passed. To those on the right (Republican) this is equivalent to overthrowing a dictator, while those on the left (Democrat) see this as bogging down the political process.

I think that I became more interested in this election for a couple reasons. My dad has become quite Republican (conservative) in the past couple years, and since I am of voting age and was home until a couple days before the election he was constantly stressing how important he thought this election was. In addition to this, I think that I'm ready to become at least a little better informed regarding current events, and this election has been one of the major current events recently and has coincided with my change of thinking. Third, regardless of whether the party in control is the Democrats or the Republicans, I think that if a party can pass any bill they want because they such a majority of the Senate seats then something is wrong. I feel that the way our government is structured should prevent one party from having complete control over the other, so I guess for that reason I'm pleased with the outcome of this election. Also, I'm from Massachusetts, so the fact that my state had the chance to alter the national political landscape.

Explanation of title: The title refers to two changes of opinion. The first is the opinion of the people of Massachusetts as a whole, who have historically been fiercely liberal but just voted in a Republican Senator. The second is my opinion regarding politics and current events and whatnot. Whereas before I actively avoided anything remotely related to politics, I was interested by this election and its results.

Sorry if you don't care about what some kid has to say about politics and this post bored you. As always, feel free to leave a comment.

Buddy the elf, what's your favorite color?

I've noticed that a lot of guys (myself included) refer to their friends as "my buddy" when they're talking to someone unfamiliar with the buddy about the buddy. I noticed it at dinner tonight, though have been aware that I say it for some time now. I get the feeling that it's more of a New England thing, if not primarily Massachusetts. I guess we feel like it conveys an intimacy that us men try to refrain from showing, but in such a way that doesn't make us feel like we're baring our hearts for the world to see and stomp on. Or maybe I'm reading too much into it and it's just a word.

I've been trying to set up a Hotmail account so that I can send out emails about my painting business, but Hotmail seems to have something against me and is hellbent on making my job as difficult as it can. I guess that since I just made the account and am sending the same message to large amounts of people, Hotmail thinks that I am spamming and deserve to be shut down and executed, but it also doesn't provide the me with a way to prove that I am a real person and am not spamming but am merely trying to get an early start on my summer job. I think the problem is that Hotmail is only able to find and stop other computers, and lacks the compassion and ability to reason that (most) humans have.

Explanation of title: Pretty self-explanatory, it's just a line from the movie Elf that has the word buddy in it and is relatively recognizable.

Who Dat

While we're at it, here is an amusing video illustrating why rednecks are among my favorite groups of people. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJzbIt37FVo

Unhappiness

This post was going to have a video of Harrison Ford, but I can't figure out how to upload it with Blogspot so that the video is on my page instead of just the link. That's too bad, I had some other Youtube videos I was hoping to upload at times. Here's the link, you probably won't recognize it or care that it's there.

Pictures from London until I post about it

$18.25

When I was in Montreal to celebrate the new year, NickM and I were in a grocery store freezer looking for beer to buy. Yes, we were legally doing so, Canada's drinking age is 18. I'm poking around of the shelves looking at some of the gigantic cans and the wide variety of 40's when I hear a crash behind. I turn around and see Nick walking quickly towards me.

"We need to go."

He had knocked over a 12 pack of Corona, which had crashed to the floor, shattering the bottles. It was a slightly ominous start to our trip, but ended up being the worst thing that we did there.

A few notes:

Poutine, though adored by Canadians, should not be eaten unless it is of a very high quality. One day I will find myself a good plate of poutine. Google it if you don't know what it is, I don't feel like typing a sentence in explanation.

Canadians love excessively large containers for their beer.

A $20 (Canadian) ticket to get in a bar on New Year's Eve does not cover your drinks, except for one small glass of champagne at midnight. Keep this in mind and prepare well.

The Canadian border is scarily easy to cross. "Do you have any alcohol, weapons, or tobacco in your car?" "No sir." "Welcome to Canada!/back to America!"

"Girls in Montreal are as cold as the (expletive) snow."

Pizza Giovan does in fact make good pizza. It's also cheap. And fast. No lines or sweet-talking butchers for Nick and I.

If you meet Mexican guys in Canada, do not: wear a Corona sweatshirt. They will try to make you buy them tequila. Do: talk to them in Spanish and let them know you are one of them. Proceed to make fun of the gringos who wear Corona sweatshirts.

"Through the Roof N Underground" and "Killa Cam" are required listening while driving to or from Canada. Killa Cam must be played immediately as soon as the border guy says you can enter the country he guards.

Explanation of title: I had a $20 Canadian bill left from the trip because I took out more money than I needed and didn't want to spend it and cross into the "I spent so much money in Canada that they built me a statue" zone. Exchanging it at Bank of America yielded me $18.25 (USD).

A really big can and a not-so-big can.

Reading Time

"You look like someone who's looking for a good book." I turned around and saw the old man who works at New England Mobile Book Fair walking towards me with the friendly expression he always wears. As it was, I was indeed in the market for a good book, though that goes without saying as buying books is like heroin for me. "I think I can help you there. Do you like tennis?"

I don't really like tennis much and told him so with a polite smile. He agreed, neither did he. He then asked me if I had heard of Andre Agassi and his new autobiography Open. I had, but wasn't really planning on buying it and felt slightly disappointed that this was the book he had in mind for me. Fortunately, Andre Agassi was just his hook, and he started telling me about the writer who helped Agassi with his memoir, J.R. Moehringer. Moehringer has written a memoir of his own, The Tender Bar, and it was this that the man was trying to introduce me to. "Andre Agassi was looking to write an autobiography but needed a real writer to help him out with it." (Sports stars often enlist the help of established writers to translate their grunting, monosyllabic vocabulary into readable English.) "He read The Tender Bar and said that Moehringer was the man he wanted to write with." After buying it and reading just the first couple chapters, I can easily see why. Dude can write. The old man went on to tell me how he was reading Agassi's book solely because Moehringer cowrote it, and how Agassi became a tennis star not by accident but because his father forced him to. Apparently Papa Agassi would make little Andre spend hours and hours facing a machine that shot tennis balls at him at ridiculous speeds, starting at a very young age. "You see, when you're watching a star athlete perform, there's always a story behind it. There's a reason he's so good at what he's doing."

I picked up a copy of Time magazine yesterday. I was reading it in the waiting room at the doctor's office and decided that it might be a good thing for me to start reading. The issue I bought is actually a bit outdated, it's for the week of December 28, but it happened to be the magazine's annual Person of the Year issue. This year, the Person of the Year was a man named Ben Bernanke. Some of you may recognize him as the chairman of the Federal Reserve. He was chosen as the Person of the Year because he almost singlehandedly prevented the recession that we recently experienced from becoming a full-blown Depression of the 1930's variety. Instead of tightening funds and reducing spending, like the Federal Reserve bankers did in the 30's, and which caused the Depression to be even worse than it had to be, Bernanke adopted a policy of aggressive spending and economic stimulus to try to boost the failing economy. There's more than that to his strategy and accomplishments, but there's my limited knowledge Sparknotes version. How did he know that expanding rather than tightening of funds would prevent the recession from being worse than it should have? He was an economic scholar before being hired into Washington. More specifically, he was a scholar of the Great Depression, which allowed him to understand the mistakes of his predecessors and to avoid making the same mistakes. When you see someone who is succeeding, there is a very good reason for it.

Explanation of Title: The title refers to the fact that I was reading Time (magazine) and that it was reading time (time for me to read). Hope you enjoyed the post. If I misused monosyllabic or if it doesn't make sense let me know please. It popped into my head as I was writing and I decided to go with it.

I'm going to be in London for the next couple days. I apologize for the weak posts recently, but I will try to start posting with renewed fervor when I get back. I made this post mainly so I could use the phrase "renewed fervor." Colt McCoy, you should have played.

A Comment on Previous Posts and Regarding Comments

I can't sleep. In addition to this, I felt the need to discuss some earlier posts and so here I am at 3:00 AM posting to my blog. Great. First off, I apparently am very wrong in my post about monopolies in regards to the makers of airplanes, as Joe was so kind to point out to me by sending me this link. In my defense, I was mainly talking about the big planes that airlines use rather than smaller private planes like Cessnas, but I'm sure that list has a little bit of everything. Moving on.

Secondly, maybe "In Defense of Words" was a bit harsh and even unnecessary. I like pictures, I find them very useful. They show exactly what is there, although the photographer can sometimes manipulate what is seen by focusing on different things he sees. I think that's true, I'm not a photographer. Either way, if you have a huge zit on your forehead on school portrait day that sucker will most definitely be seen in your picture and laughed at by all your family forever. Pictures are good for at least that.

Third. It has come to my attention that Invictus lied again, this time in its casting of Matt Damon as Francois Pienaard. As Bill Simmons of ESPN.com points out in his column, Pienaard was 6'3" and was a physical specimen, a beast on the rugby pitch/field/whatever. Matt Damon, though he can kill you with a rolled up magazine and humiliate you in a Harvard bah, is none of these things. He is from Boston though so we can let it slide this time.

One last thing. If you like, don't like, or have anything at all to say about any post on here, feel free to leave a comment. At the least it lets me know that people are reading what I have to say. I don't know if you need a Blogger account or something, I guess if you do need to make an account you don't have to go through the trouble just to leave a comment and stoke the flames of my vanity (does that even make sense?). I understand and I forgive you. I'll try to stop making long and annoying titles and start posting actual things again. It's just sort of fun in a nerdy way to make up ridiculous and obnoxious titles, but I will stop. Maybe. That is all, thank you and good night.

The River

His broken heart leapt when he caught sight of the river. Within the river lay his only chance of fixing the disaster that had become his life, and so he made his desperate journey, praying for the strength he knew he would need. His car jumped and rattled along the hidden dirt road. He had navigated the road countless times before, but never with such a dire task as now. He paid no heed to the rocks and bumps in the road, choosing rather to punish himself and the car, wanting to feel the pain of every jolt.

The car reached the end of the road. He killed the engine, put the keys in the cupholder, and gently closed the door behind him. As he walked to the bank of the river, he knew a perfection not found in this world.  Stepping into the flowing water, he felt an peace more absolute than he had ever before imagined. She would haunt him no more. 

Previously Promised Pictures of New Hampshire

 

A Moment of Introspection with a Troubling Conclusion

I learned something about myself today. I'm not sure if it's a good thing. I went to my little brother's youth hockey game  because he needed a ride and my dad thought it would be good if I went and showed brotherly support. He's at the Pee Wee level, which, for those not acquainted with the sport, is the first level that allows checking. Over the years I've been to an inappropriate number of youth hockey games, both as a player and to appease my parents' desire that I support the brothers. Of these games, Pee Wee games have always been my favorite, partly because the skill level is a little higher than the younger divisions but mostly because checking is permitted. While watching the game today and seeing 11 and 12 year olds running each other into the boards, I realized that I don't entirely blame hockey dads for their tendency to try to fight parents of the kids on the opposing team. I think that nothing gets my bloodlust going more than youth hockey, specifically at levels that allow checking. I don't know why, but something inside me clicks and all I want to see are little kids from Needham destroy the little kids from whatever town they are playing. Even worse, a lot of the time I want nothing more than to suit up and ruin some middle schooler's day. My kids should not play hockey.

Problems 2

I keep trying to change the font color and type on here so that all of it is the same, but it isn't working out. I guess when I choose a color and font under the settings part of this site it doesn't change existing posts, just new ones. I'm not positive that this is what happens but it is my assumption and I will stick to it until further knowledge is attained. Were I a philosopher one would call me a pragmatist. I think that sentence is correct but it might not be, I would appreciate it if you, the reader, could tell me how to correctly word it. Thank you.

There were going to be some words here about friends and such but I got distracted and lost motivation. I'll try again another night. Sorry for the letdown.