I almost died today. I was sitting in Cafe Fresh Bagel, enjoying my toasted egg bagel with olive cream cheese and sneakily listening to/ignoring the college freshmen girls blabbing next to me when a chunk of bagel posted up in my windpipe. At first I thought it was no big deal and figured I would wait it out and just breathe, but when the breaths wouldn't go to my lungs I knew it was time to worry a little bit. Still, I was in the bagel shop that I go to too many times a week and I for sure was not going to make a scene in front of the bagel girls unless I absolutely had to.

As my eyes started bugging out and my face started turning red I tried to discreetly cough/clear my throat without sounding like I was the loser who doesn't know how to eat a bagel without choking. A strange, slightly disgusting and definitely audible sound escaped from my throat, but with it came the bagel piece, which I speedily rechewed and swallowed successfully. If anyone heard it they dismissed it as the kid sitting alone with paint all over his clothes just being weird again. I took a couple silent gulps of air and thought about how good it feels to breathe, finished my bagel and Dr. Pepper and left.