$18.25

When I was in Montreal to celebrate the new year, NickM and I were in a grocery store freezer looking for beer to buy. Yes, we were legally doing so, Canada's drinking age is 18. I'm poking around of the shelves looking at some of the gigantic cans and the wide variety of 40's when I hear a crash behind. I turn around and see Nick walking quickly towards me.

"We need to go."

He had knocked over a 12 pack of Corona, which had crashed to the floor, shattering the bottles. It was a slightly ominous start to our trip, but ended up being the worst thing that we did there.

A few notes:

Poutine, though adored by Canadians, should not be eaten unless it is of a very high quality. One day I will find myself a good plate of poutine. Google it if you don't know what it is, I don't feel like typing a sentence in explanation.

Canadians love excessively large containers for their beer.

A $20 (Canadian) ticket to get in a bar on New Year's Eve does not cover your drinks, except for one small glass of champagne at midnight. Keep this in mind and prepare well.

The Canadian border is scarily easy to cross. "Do you have any alcohol, weapons, or tobacco in your car?" "No sir." "Welcome to Canada!/back to America!"

"Girls in Montreal are as cold as the (expletive) snow."

Pizza Giovan does in fact make good pizza. It's also cheap. And fast. No lines or sweet-talking butchers for Nick and I.

If you meet Mexican guys in Canada, do not: wear a Corona sweatshirt. They will try to make you buy them tequila. Do: talk to them in Spanish and let them know you are one of them. Proceed to make fun of the gringos who wear Corona sweatshirts.

"Through the Roof N Underground" and "Killa Cam" are required listening while driving to or from Canada. Killa Cam must be played immediately as soon as the border guy says you can enter the country he guards.

Explanation of title: I had a $20 Canadian bill left from the trip because I took out more money than I needed and didn't want to spend it and cross into the "I spent so much money in Canada that they built me a statue" zone. Exchanging it at Bank of America yielded me $18.25 (USD).

A really big can and a not-so-big can.