A Young Man Waits

Down the ravine behind the empty house

the young man sits against the wall of old books.

His future lies like the fresh snowfall

in that secret place where he first fell in love.

From the estate up above

the bell tolls

twelve.

He hears the mice dance, he hears the eagles snore

as the coyotes sing their freedom songs.

The orchestra plays throughout the night

and her call for him never comes.

He steps from the wall with a broken sob

that brings despair to the animal band

He holds his bags and slides back to the night

like a ghost in a foreign land.

In the estate up above the girl starts at his sound,

pulls close to her husband,

falls back asleep.

My heart longs for Spain

for Goya in El Prado

and the feeling of belonging

in the park of Madrid;

for familiar Barcelona,

where Gaudi’s vision

makes you think that God might exist;

where the removed English speakers

gather at Queen Victoria’s

drinking and smoking and losing their minds.

My heart leaps for Italy

for the smell

and the heat

and the feeling of family

as we navigated the streets

of summer in Venice,

for the quiet of Tuscany,

where the plains are interrupted

by hilltopped cities

with names like Montepulciano,

for the excitement of the World Cup

and a fake soccer ball

that brought four brothers together in joy for the last time.

My heart aches for Peru,

for the tias and the tios

and fake tias and fake tios

all talking over each other

and laughing as one,

for the altitude sickness

we all caught in Cuzco,

and the terrifying ride

up the mountain to Macchu Picchu,

for that deep ancestral feeling that this is where you came from.

My heart calls for Wyoming,

for the sunrise over the mountains

and the Western American feeling

of galloping on a horse,

for the clouds across the prairie

and the foggy freezing

summer mornings and nights.

My heart cries for New Hampshire,

for that house in the woods where life doesn’t matter,

for the fish in the pond and the dog running free,

for the birch and the pine and the view of the mountain,

and that spooky feeling that you get here alone.

My heart smiles for Orleans,

for that beach we called Skaket,

with the terror of the eels

and the innocence of youth.

My heart starts for Needham,

for that town that we hated

until we understood the meaning

of the idea of home,

where we loved and we lost and we all came together

and we knew we wouldn’t have

to face death alone.

My heart waits for you,

for your smile and your laugh

and your calm understanding,

for the day that will come when we finally meet.

Sunday Morning News on the Last Day of Summer

His words struck the boys like a car on a slippery night

crashing into their lives and destroying what they thought they knew.

As the news sunk in the rain began to fall

and the thunder of their pain grew into a storm.

Innocence had been killed too early

the victim of a moment’s lapse.

The words of the youngest would haunt them forever,

the first words spoken, the voice in the darkness.

“Daddy, who will be my godfather now?”

I want to get to know you. Tell me the worst thing that's ever happened to you.

Night Out

Standing outside the bathroom at Louie's I see through the saloon-style swinging doors that my old roommate Eric is leaning against the back wall throwing up into the left side of the piss trough while a junior pees into the right side. I point this out to Chris standing in line with me and we laugh and cheer him on. Eric stumbles out and I take his spot, trying to aim my stream so as to wash his vomit into the drain in the middle of the piss trough. I finish peeing and zip up my overalls and step through the doors to wash my hands in the sink between the bathrooms. Eric, standing at a table in the corner still holding his pitcher of beer, calls me over.
"Dennis, you're sorta my roommate so I guess I have to tell you this," beckoning me closer like he has a secret for me as I chuckle. "Steph got pregnant." His vomit breath smells awful next to my face and I try to maneuver to make it easier to avoid. Steph and Eric had dated for a while last year. She was a nice girl but not too bright and he wasn't the nicest boy, and the last time I had seen them together she had burst into his house saying "I just want you to know I think you're a piece of shit and you're not worth my time," and when she burst back out of the house I said "Serve 'em up" and filled our glasses with whiskey. This had happened on Tuesday and it's Thursday now so it makes even more sense now.
"That sucks man. What're you gonna do?" I try to ask but what can you really say to that in the middle of crowded Louie's on Thursday night? He says something about her taking some pill or something but it doesn't really make sense then he stumbles away. I try to think about it but the girl I like walks by so I go and try to talk to her but she's not interested so I get another drink and talk to my friend working the door then take off my shirt and wear just my overalls. I go to pee again and the vomit is washed away. We leave Louie's and go to Old's and I take my shirt off again and steal a pink umbrella from a girl I think is cute and interesting and go to bed alone again.

Untitled for now

We went out that night to one of the many bars that littered the island. A promoter had caught out attention with what seemed like a good deal on drinks so we followed him to his bar. I ordered two Red Bull vodkas and drank them quickly. Pat Tobi and Dan stuck with Jack and Cokes and spent a bit more time with them. We sat on the porch outside and watched the people walking around. The girls on the deck of the club next door caught our eyes so we watched them dance while Pat Tobi and Dan finished their drinks. After the drinks were gone we walked up the steps to meet the girls. Pat Tobi and Dan sat at a table next the the pole. There was no room left at their table so I went to the next one over. A man older than me and a girl about my age were sitting there. The girl was wearing what seemed to be a dress but turned out to be a robe. The breeze from the ocean had made the night cool and I guess the robe was to keep her warm and protected. I asked if they minded if I sat at the table and she said no and to go ahead. The man left shortly after I sat down.
The girl was taller than me and not beautiful but probably pretty under her makeup. I asked her name and she told me it was Lucy. I said my name was John. I told her how my friend and I were on the island for a couple days before going back to Spain to travel a bit more. She told me how she had come from Newcastle and wanted to be a teacher and was hoping to make enough money here to go back to school, and how she used to be one of the girls that walks around the island selling shots but that this paid better and was actually safer because the bouncers made no one touched her that shouldn't. She had a sweet voice and a friendly smile and I liked her accent. She asked if I wanted to see her naked and I said I would love to but I had spent the last of my money at the bar and probably wasn't charming enough to get her naked on my own, but thank you for the offer I'm sorry I don't have any money. She laughed and said it was okay and loosened her robe a little but not too much. She asked me how I liked the island and I said it was okay and seemed fun, but when she said it was dreadful and that she hated it I found myself agreeing with her. I told her how I had one more year of school and how I hated going to classes and she told me how she was excited to go back to England to finish up her schooling. The thought of this apparently reminded her why she was here and she said excuse me John but she had to go try to make some money but that it was nice talking to me. I agreed and said she was a nice girl and she got up and went inside to the bar, sidling up to a guy twice my age and rubbing his back lightly.
We stayed on the deck a bit longer talking to a girl that was swinging on the pole next to Pat Tobi and Dan's table. She brought us inside and showed us how to dance on the pole and we all tried it and took pictures. Before we left Dan said he wanted a lap dance and went with Lucy into one of the curtained off back rooms. She smiled and waved at me as she walked in. When they were done we left the club. Lucy watched us leave as Dan told us how he had tried to feel her up and how she had pinned his arms at his sides with his knees and Dennis let's go get a Doner Kebab. I said okay and laughed but turned around as we left to look one last time.